Friday, April 04, 2008

7 THINGS ABOUT STUFF (Part 1)

We've been tagged by Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino to provide "7 things about us". Because Johnada believes in government transparency, we're going to this five times: one for the country overall, one for the President, one for the Minister of Booze, one for the Minister of Defence and one for the First Lady. Hopefully this will also take us off the hook for not tagging other bloggers. We're guessing all of the bloggers we read have already been tagged on this. However if you are a blogger and haven't got this, consider this a tag if you want to be tagged. (Also, we promise the post about the President will include juicy actual information and not just made up stuff.)

7 Things About Johnada the Country

1) Just like Libya, Johnada's government is a jamahiriya.

2) Johnada holds free and independent democratic elections every 4th Leap Day. This year's results were 53% for Johnada, 40% for Zak Aromyces, and 10% for Ralph Nader. These results were independently verified by Russia and North Korea's election judges.
3) Johnada is geographical divided into seven provinces - Johntario, Kateucky, Brynnesota, Rachelina, Balkadonia, Milessissipi and Idaho.

4) Our official food guide recommends daily intake of 2 Tim Hortons donuts, 3 bags of Cheetos, 4 cans of Vitamin Coke, 2 servings of KitKats and 17 servings of corn syrup. Just like almost every other nation, our food guide recommendations are made by independent scientists and are not at all influenced by gigantic mega-corporate lobbyists or corn farmers.*

5) The current military budget is $5 US dollars per calendar year and is spending determined by the Minister of Defence. Last year this was spent on peanut butter flavoured dog treats.

6) Johnada is ranked number 4 on the United Made-Up Nations Human Development Index, just behind Shangri-La, Atlantis and Xanadu.

7) Johnada will be represented in the 2008 Beijing Olympics in Synchronized Swimming.
*If you're are a lobbyist and want to give us some soft money, have no fear - our scientists are not financially independent, if you know what I mean.
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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:46 p.m.

    As a citizen, I wonder:

    1) If we could get the last election's votes recounted. May I suggest a good Florida judge? I really think Nader was below 10%. I surveyed 10 friends and none voted for him so...

    2) Is the food guide approved by Agriculture Johnada?

    3) A friend of mine works for a male thong company and would love to sponsor your synchronized swimming team. Any time convenient for a meeting?

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  2. SMB7:56 p.m.

    Synchronized swimming lessons next weekend?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mother Theresa1:00 p.m.

    I think you'll have to have a sex change to compete in the 2008 Olympics, because that event isn't open to men. Either that or you could bribe the International Olympic Committee, which would probably be less painful. ;)

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  4. Johnada9:43 p.m.

    Zhu - 1) You must have liberal friends. Nader was the conservative candidate in Johnada.
    2) Agriculture Johnada approves the food guide. Our biggest crop is, of course, donuts. They grow on trees here.
    3) There is always time in Johnada for meetings about thongs!

    SMB - Definitely, but only in Lake Michigan.

    Theresa - Those pictures are misleading. It's two women who are costumed to look like Johnada and his good friend Maymard. It's very patriotic - don't you think?

    ReplyDelete