First of all, my sincerest apologies to all of you who have been waiting patiently for a second Beernada review. As Johnada explained, I had to undertake a courageous stand against the Esplanade Meat Market’s ostentatious list of Belgian beers by launching a Beerpeace strike against the Markt’s fawning of corporate Big Beer, ultimately resulting in my solo voyage in the Hoegaarden cooler down the St. Lawrence River. Alas, before reaching the open ocean, I was run ashore when my vessel sprang a leak after pounding into the side of a 1000-foot ( approximately 400 Canadian meters) Portuguese ship carrying 10,000 cases (approximately 120,000 Canadian bottles) of red Douro bound for Montreal. For those of you who don’t know, Beerpeace is modeled on Greenpeace. (N.B. as much as I condone the use of violence as a form of social dissent--or, actually, for any reason--Beernada and his associates are in no way associated with Greenpeace).Before I launch into my review of Wellington Iron Duke, I need to clarify one important item. Johnada has not been entirely earnest with his “fair and balanced” approach to covering our competition for excelling at worthless activities. Although Johnada’s poor performance at darts is a disappointment to some, I will be the first to commend his form (though he could probably stand to put on 10 pounds of muscle). More preposterous is Johnada’s characterization of my absence at Jimmy’s karaoke as “too scared.” This is blatantly untrue and slanderous (no doubt, a shocking realization for most blog readers): I WAS IN THE ST. LAWRENCE RIVER WHEN YOU WENT TO JIMMY’S!* Let’s try to maintain the high standards of honesty and factuality that this blog was founded on. To see how, read on.
Brewed in Guelph, Ontario at the Wellington County Brewery, Wellington Iron Duke Strong Ale is, as the name suggests, an ale. Beers can be classified into two broad categories depending on the type of yeast used in the fermentation process: lagers use yeasts that settle to the bottom during fermentation (bottom-fermenters), while ales use yeasts that rise to the top during fermentation (top-fermenters). Although the line between ales and lagers is blurring with modern brewing technologies, ales tend to be fruitier and lagers tend to be cleaner in taste. (I recommend double-checking all of Beernada’s facts with Charles Bamforth.)
The brawny, tawny Iron Duke pours like a proud admiral of the Wellington Army. It is dark, but not opaque, with amber highlights in a rich, clear tamarind-brown liquid matrix. (For the love of god, people, pour this beer into a goblet! – use a red wine glass if you don’t have a Duvel or Chimay goblet handy). It is lightly carbonated, letting the bitterness of the hops, the carbonized bitterness from roasted malts, and the delicate effervescence-like tickle from the mineral wate
I would much rather save Iron Duke than Hoegaarden from
Questions? Comments? Hatemail? Email Zach at beernada@gmail.com.
*While we highly encourage our employees to be active outside of Johnada, when a required event takes place and an employee has not been granted prior permission to be absent, all absences will be recorded as fear. It's in the handbook.
Beernada,
ReplyDeleteHow you transform the sensory tickle from tongue and palette to such prosaic discourse is mind numbing! You are surely destined to do for beer in Canada what Jilly and Oz did for wine in the UK!
Sincerely,
Beaverboosh
P.S. Thanks for the tip on the Hoegaarden cooler! Effin Belgiums eh! Would never have happened to a Warsteiner cooler!
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this.
ReplyDelete