BEERNADA DELAYED

Promises are just like the Wife's favourite glassware; they're made to be broken by Johnada at the worst possible time. So we have to apologize to any Johnadians who were eagerly awaiting a new Beernada column this week. It appears you will have to wait until Monday. However, we do have a good explanation.

Two weeks ago when we were hanging out with Beernada, he kept mumbling something about freeing Hoegaarden from the "evil, frat-like clutches of the Esplanade." Johnada ignored these comments because Beernada says these type of things at almost every bar we go to. Unfortunately, this time the threats proved all too real. This is the last picture we have of him from that night:We later got reports from the Toronto Harbour Patrol that they saw someone fitting Beernada's description paddling some sort of refrigeration device out into Lake Ontario. That was the last anyone heard from him until today when he was fished out the St. Lawrence River by some very thirsty Quebecois. Unfortunately, the Hoegaarden cooler boat could not be saved. Beernada is currently suffering from starvation and extreme hypothermia, so we extended his deadline until Monday.