CATCHING UP - Best Canadian Songs of 2008 and Lots More

So, I've missed out on some exciting stuff over the last couple of weeks, so I'm trying to catch up in one post. This is my annual review post. We're now celebrating over a year of sovereignty over our might nation.

Canadian Hero of the Year 2008 – No vote this time. It’s my daughter. In your face Strombodopolous.

Review of the crazy Canadian government thing that happened last December.

It was pretty exciting, and it made me feel good that I know more about how the Canadian government works than most Canadians - when the majority of parliament whether in coalition form or not decides on a leader, that's the leader. None of you people vote for the Prime Minister, you vote for your MP. Whichever party has the most MP's gets to pick the PM. If a couple of parties decide to get together to choose a PM, that's the PM. Silly Canadians, you don't live in America where people directly vote for the President.

I predict the Steelers will win the Super Bowl and that 30 years of peace will follow.

Slumdog Millionaire - Good, but c'mon there must be 30 movies from 2008 that are better. All you really need to know is that people in India are completely indifferent and/or kind of annoyed at the movie.

Best Canadian Songs of 2008
1)

Kids Dont Know Shit - Islands
This album was criminally underrated and I could really put fives songs from it on my top ten. But this is by far the most exciting song. At first, the lyrics are so completely dumb, but then they are not completely dumb. Genius.

2)

Our Age - COSTANTINES
A band that just plays rock n' roll. Not gimmicks or tricks. Every time I buy their albums, I think they're just okay, then three months later I can't believe how great it is. This song is one highlight.

3)

The Sound - Human Highway
Same guy from the Islands in folk mode. A fine album, but this song stands above the rest on this album.

4)

Willow Tree - Chad VanGaalen
This is a great song from an album that's full of wonderful music.

5)

Churches Under The Stairs - Brendan Canning
I admit that I was a little dissappointed in this album. There aren't a lot of standout rock n' roll moments that we usually see from the Broken Social Scene crowd. But this song is definitely a standout. Would have been great to see live if I hadn't dropped the tickets out of my back pocket on the way to the show. Sorry Beernada and Maynard.

6)

Black Rice - Women
Dumb band name, good song.

7)

Some Are Lakes - Land Of Talk

8)

Feedback In The Field - Plants and Animals
One of the louder songs from a Montreal band that makes great background music.

9) Sloan: Cheap Champagne
I had a conversation the other day with a friend. She suggested that if I heard Sloan’s old stuff now, I would not like it because it’s too poppy. That’s definitely not true. If I heard Twice Removed or One Chord to Another now, I’d think they were a better version of Spoon. However, with the crap these guys released on their latest album Parallel Play, it makes it hard for me to be a Sloan apologist, especially the way they sucked live. This song called Cheap Champagne is pretty good however. But I couldn't find it on this imeem deal, so here's an oldie, but a goodie by the same wussy guy that my wife loves:

The Lines You Amend - Sloan

10) Bicycles – I’ll Wait for You: A late entry in my2008 Canadian song book. A grower.
http://www.myspace.com/thebicycles

Forgive me Canada, for I have sinned. It has been over 257 days since my last Tim Hortons.

HOLIDAY WEEK - Our Annual Canada Day Preview

Tomorrow (or today/yesterday/last week depending on when you read this) is Canada Day. As has been our tradition every Canada Day since this blog started last October, we are going to run down some of the most exciting events around the World. Honestly, it's hard for us to call it Canada Day, because it will always be Dominion Day to us: we always loved the Miss Dominion of Canada beauty pageant. Oh well. Here`s the rundown for this year`s activities:

• If you live in Newfoundland (all 500,000 of you), you can go see the Stanley Cup tomorrow. Local hero Danny Cleary is the first Newfie to play for a Cup-winning team. Don`t drop the cup!
  
• If you want a subdued celebration, head for Quebec where the interest in Canada Day is always lukewarm at best. But I bet some where there will be a poutine with a flag in it. Also apologies to mon souer for not writing about a Fête Saint-Jean-de-Baptiste (QC`s national holiday) last week.
• If you`re in London, England, you can celebrate Canada Day in Trafalgar Square where Cordon Bleu chef Daniel Verati will offer samples of Canadian food (poutine and back bacon, I suppose), there will be a taste of the Montreal comedy festival and high speed street hockey.
• The Canadian Embassy in Washington D.C. is having a Canada Day party, but you`ve got RSVP by today! If you go, I recommend bringing a Russian friend and debating which of the three countries has sovereignty over the Arctic. Sure to make for scintilating conversation. Beernada will be in D.C. working on his North American Free Beer Argreement, so he may be at the Embassy (though he`s much more likely to be here).
• Those (one) of you who live in Hong Kong, there`s a Canada Day celebration every year in Lan Kwai Fong.
• The weather`s looking good for celebrations in Iqaluit, Nunavut where it will be a balmy 7C (43F).
  
• Finally, if you want to catch me, please come down to the Harbourfront Centre in Toronto. Johnada will be celebrating the only way I know how - by attacking people with blow up donuts at the first Canadian Donut Olympics. Only in Canada.
  

Happy Canada Day from all of us at Johnada!

7 THINGS ABOUT STUFF (Part 4) - An Inside Look at the First Lady . . . Literally

In our ongoing series of articles to provide you with more insight into the government of Johanda, today we take an inside look at the First Lady of Johnada.

1) A photo.

2) If you thought I was going to list a bunch of other interesting things about the First Lady in this post, than I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. I'm probably in enough trouble for the photo.

3-7) The other day I mentioned that I was hoping the Cubs would not go to the World Series this year. You see, the World Series occurs in late October, and I'm possibly going to have other plans. The reason - if you could look deep inside the First Lady of Johnada, you would see that she has a little parasite inside that's eating her food, forcing her to increase her blood supply and expanding her lung capacity. This is something we're very excited about! That's right, Johnada is proud to announce that our population is going to increase by one in October. It's going to be a tri-citizen too, which will be good when the rest of the world wants Canada's fresh water supply in twenty years.

So this Fall I'm hoping that the Cubs don't make the World Series, or if they do, that they schedule the games around the birth of my first child. There's only one place I'd rather be than at Wrigley Field during Game 7 of the World Series, and that's in a room with bad wallpaper and my wife in terrible pain.*

After letting that out of the bag, we're going on a little holiday. Johnada's going back to Chicago to enjoy a little more time acting like a kid before he has one. Beernada is off trying to conquer new territory in the Upper Midwest of the U.S. And Balki will be enjoying the nice Canadian Spring by letting all the animals in the neighborhood know that he's still the only one allowed to poop in our backyard.

*If the Cubs are playing at the same time, I'm still aloud to check the score, right?