Tuesday, December 18, 2007

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: Canadian Hero of the Year 2007

Just a reminder that we've got our first democratic election going on in Johnada. On the right side of this page, all visitors have the opportunity to vote for the Johnada Canadian Hero of the Year 2007. The winner will be presented with a bag of Johnada's #1 endorsed potato chips - Lays Chili Garlic (Ail et Chili). We encourage ballot stuffing, so don't forget to delete your cookies.

The Candidates:
The Toronto Black Squirrel - Without a doubt, the hardest working candidate in Toronto, this candidate can be seen daily almost everywhere throughout the GTA. However, his qualifications have been questioned since he is unwilling to campaign throughout the nation, leaving a lot of work for his campaign Chairanimal, the grey squirrel. More info

Back Bacon - The most surprising candidate for Canadian Hero of the Year 2007, Back Bacon was originally a dark horse. However, a great taste and a versatility not seen from its American cousin have shot it up the polls. More info

Bag O' Milk - The Bag O' Milk is what makes Ontario Ontario. It's big, it's seems to last forever, but just when you ask it for help, all that's left is a little piece of plastic. (Okay, this doesn't make much sense, but you try writing about a milk bag twice in less than two weeks . . .) More info

Balki - Originally, Balki didn't like his new Canadian home. He wouldn't even explore his tiny new back yard for six weeks because it still smelled like the previous tenant's dogs. However, like any great Canadian Hero, Balki persevered and, using his own unique methodology, marked the yard as his own. He has asked for a debate with the Toronto Black Squirrel and Beernada. Unfortunately Mr. B. Squirrel and Mr. Beernada don't seem to favour a debate, as both quickly run away every time Balki approaches to discuss a location and time. More info

Beernada - Not known for his use of "facts", Beernada has single handedly changed the conversation about Ontario Craft Brews. And that conversation happened on Sept. 15th at the Only Cafe. It was then quickly changed back to movies. More info

Mukmuk - The World's First Olympic Sidekick, Mukmuk has been accused of laziness and excessive drinking. When asked to comment on the allegations, he replied, "Absolutely!" More info

Lorne Wheaton (Rush's Drum Tech) - When asked to discuss his chances of winning Johnada's Canadian Hero of the Year Award for 2007, Wheaton was heard to say, "what?" So we'll let his life's work do the talking for him, just click on this link: More info

Let the campaigning begin!

4 comments:

Theresa said...

Hmmm, I think I'll go with the squirrel...it's the cutest candidate around. ;)

mimi said...

How can Balki be winning, he's not even a REAL Canadian.

Is it even in the Johnada constitution that an immigrant can run for Canadian Hero of the Year?

And would somebody please vote for the Rush tech? No votes? How unCanadian of you Canuks.

Zhu said...

THE SQUIRREL IS CORRUPTED!!!

I have insider informations... I work in Ottawa, don't forget...

The dog is honest and hard-working. And as an immigrant, I support other immigrant. *bark*

Amers said...

Balki's humble story of perseverence against all odds gets my vote. Though, back bacon, ummmmm.

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