Monday, December 10, 2007

JOHNADA vs. BEERNADA (Round III and IV)

PLUS JOHNADA GETS AN AWARD!

So Saturday night, Beernada and Johnada just happened to be in a bar that had a game involving a real feat of strength . . . it was called Boxer.

The game was simple: put in a Loonie and punch a bag. The options were speed or strength. Having looked in the mirror recently, I quickly chose speed. Then a punching bag fell from the sky, and I immediately started punching the bag in the rapid fire style seen in so many Rocky montages (38 seconds into this clip, for example). But the game quickly stopped and only five points appeared on the board. I stared in dismay at the score board; my technique had been flawless. Then a guy behind us said, "You just hit it once hard, dude, the speed option don't work." Since Johnada's cheap and didn't want to waste another Loonie, I graciously gave Beernada his turn. Knowing how the game worked, Beernada reared back for his shot while pretending the bag was being used for beechwood aging. Needless to say, he won.

J vs. B Round IV was pinball . . . surely Johnada would dominate pinball. I spent the summers of my youth at a house with its own pinball machine. Beernada went first, and he did not fare well. He kept the ball going for a few minutes each time, but he got no bonuses or fun things. Final score: 300,000.

Next, it was Johnda's turn. On the first ball, I slowly reared back with the plunger, measuring the perfect amount to shoot the ball right into Bonusland. I let go ever so gently, like I was making the final knit on a chorded winter sweater for Balki. Then I realized that I avoid things like knitting because I'm horrible with my hands. The ball caramed right off the back of the machine, shot straight down the middle and split the two flippers . . . 0 points. Ball two yielded the exact same result. The third plunge was so bad that the machine actually felt bad for Johnada and gave me a bonus shot. The bonus shot came out of the tube like a ball on a mission, and as if in slow motion, plummeted straight to the right bumper for 100 points. It then ran straight across to the the left, hitting two more bumpers at 200 points each. At this point, I was so excited about actually doing something, I forgot to hit the flipper button. The ball actually seemed to taunt me as it giddily spun down the the drain, signalling the game's end. Final result: 400 points.

Unfortunately, the current feats of strength score is Beernada 3, Johnada 1. I'm going to have to start making up games that I know I can win, like "Name a Baseball Player Not Named Barry Bonds".

Earlier in the day, we went to Bar Volo for casks of Fullers. With three different fresh casks of fine English beer, everyone was a winner (except for our pocket books):Last, but certainly not least, we've been given a Citizen of the World award by fellow blogger Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino. (As a Citizen of the World, we would like to request the award money in Euros.) You can see the award if you scroll down the right side of this page. It's quite an honour, so anyone who knows Johnada in real life, please don't comment with all the obvious reasons why we clearly don't qualify.

As for a certain commenter on Zhu's Citizen of the World post, Johnada's not actually from Chicago. We're from Bourbonnais, which is quite worldly. Check out that French name! And we're the summer of home of the Chicago Bears. They've even got a Canadian on their roster. Bourbonnais also has one of the highest per capita rates of ninjas in the world, but we'll have to save that for another post.

3 comments:

Zhu said...

Are you sure you want Euro? On the long term, CA$ might be a better deal... think about it!;)

BEERNADA said...

On behalf of the Commenwealth of Beernada, I present Johnada with my sincerest condolences for his recent and apparently chronic ineptitude at executing every day skills. In our sign of mutual respect, I am happy to award you with our very first Governor's General Medal of Potential. You know you have it in you, Johnada!

Johnada said...

Zhu,
You may be right. If I'm thinking long term, maybe I should take my prize money in fresh water to leave to my grandchildren.

Beernada,
Wow, GGMofP. I haven't been this proud since I got to be the official car parker at your wedding. Thanks!

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