ANNUAL OSCAR PREVIEW

As a lover of movies, there's nothing I like more then to watch spoiled, ultra wealthy stars reward each other in totally subjective ways for doing their job. So I always look forward to watching the Academy Awards. (I also like to poke myself in the eye with a stick.) But much of the excitement comes from guessing who's going to win. Here are my picks:

Best Picture - I'll go with No Country for Old Men, because the Wife and I saw it last night.

Best Director - The Cohen Brothers. Again, because we saw it last night.

Best Actor - George Clooney sure is handsome. But is he as handsome as Johnny Depp? Tune in tomorrow night. Oh, and Daniel Day Lewis, no slouch himself, will win the award.

Best Actress - Who's going to wear the best dress? Will it be an Italian dress? That's what I've got to know.

What's the difference between Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing? Seems kind of dumb, but I'm going with Bourne Ultimatum for both.

Best Cartoon - Should be Persepolis, but I think Ratatouille is going to take it. By the way, the Wife LOVED Ratatouille.

Best Visual Effects - Anything but Transformers, which was two hours I'll never get back. No one should ever be rewarded for that headache inducing piece of dung. It destroyed some of my fondest childhood memories.

Best Makeup, Best Documentary, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Foreign Film, Best Art Direction, Best Original Screenplay, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Score, Best Song, Best Film Editing, Best Makeup - Josh Hartnett from 30 Days of Night.