CBC recently lost the rights to the theme song for Hockey Night in Canada. It's a big deal up here. They go nuts for that song.
Apparently, rival network CTV bought it to use for hockey games on The Sporting Network. Personally, I think the song kind of sucks, but, you know, I'm American and all. My favourite theme song will always be Mr. Belvedere. Reluctantly, I still have to give the hockey theme 5 Hortons.
Anyway, when I saw this on the Colbert Report, I knew I had to post it. It's what this blog is all about:
When I first moved to Canada last September, I was amazed by the ubiquitousness of this guy named George Stroumboulopoulos (real spelling) and his show called the Hour during which he interviews celebrities and politicians with a removed, laconic style. He's always being "real" with the people he interviews, he always acts like he's hardcore, and, most importantly, he always wears black. Always!
In so many ways, Strombo is the ultimate tool. He will act as cool as his current guest. He plays like he's all metal, but he often kisses the ass of bands that suck. And his comedy bits are weak, to say the least. But Canadians prefer his toolishnes to the swarminess of Jay Leno, and I guess I'm okay with that.
It's ultimately George's wardrobe that makes the show. Night after night there is a new black shirt that says "I just don't give a shit (even though I really do, since this shirt cost $400)." It's that dichotomy that is the brilliance of Mr. George Stroumboulopoulos and for that reason, Strombo's black shirts are our newest Canadian Heroes.
I was going to add some content about what a jerk George is, but apparently he's not. If you Google Strombo on the net, almost every personal encounter with him is glowing. Plus Bono's a fan, and he likes the Pope, so who is Johnada to argue. (Though I prefer Rick Mercer any day.)
This would have been so much better if Alex still had his moustache:
Somewhere along the way, the First Lady got addicted to a show called America's Next Top Model. For those of you who do not know, it's a reality show about modelling. And not only is it about modelling, but it's about young women and important life lessons like learning to walk like you are constipated and learning to pose like a sexy homeless person.
Every Wednesday I try to avoid the television with other activities, but somehow always manage to get sucked in by the elimination at the end. Damn you Tyra Banks and your unintentionally hilarious show!
A big part of ANTM is the Director of Photo Shoots - Canadian Mr. Jay* (not to be confused with Miss J). Mr. Jay tells the girls that they either have it or they don't. To my untrained eye, his decisions seem pretty arbitrary, but I also don't have his eye for modelling, his sense of dramatic flair or his blond coiffure. And really it's all about is hair, so I'm giving it a Canadian Hero Award.
This is the third Canadian Hero Award to go to hair. Apparently, when it comes to hair, Canadians rule. (Or maybe I give these hair awards because of my baldferiority complex.)
Mr. Jay's 'do is unparallelled in Canada, America, or Johnada, but I have a sneaking suspicion it wouldn't stick out too much in Germany. His spiked blond birdnest does not go with his makeup, skin tones. But that's okay, because it says "I create my own style, even though I punish others for not acting exactly like Tyra Banks."
In addition to being the guy who tells model they suck during their photo shoots on ANTM, Mr. Jay also hosts the Canadian version of the show - Canada's Next Top Model. We have yet to see this, because it's on in the summer. I sure hope that the First Lady doesn't get sucked in, but I have a feeling Mr. Jay and I still have a lot of time to spend together. I hope he brings plenty of moose.
Because I know everyone out there is a stickler for the CHA rules , Mr. Jay (Jay Manuel) was born in Springfield, IL, but he grew up in Toronto and considers it his home, so he is still eligible for this award.
As a lover of movies, there's nothing I like more then to watch spoiled, ultra wealthy stars reward each other in totally subjective ways for doing their job. So I always look forward to watching the Academy Awards. (I also like to poke myself in the eye with a stick.) But much of the excitement comes from guessing who's going to win. Here are my picks:
Best Picture - I'll go with No Country for Old Men, because the Wife and I saw it last night.
Best Director - The Cohen Brothers. Again, because we saw it last night.
Best Actor - George Clooney sure is handsome. But is he as handsome as Johnny Depp? Tune in tomorrow night. Oh, and Daniel Day Lewis, no slouch himself, will win the award. Best Actress - Who's going to wear the best dress? Will it be an Italian dress? That's what I've got to know.
What's the difference between Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing? Seems kind of dumb, but I'm going with Bourne Ultimatum for both.
Best Cartoon - Should be Persepolis, but I think Ratatouille is going to take it. By the way, the Wife LOVED Ratatouille.
Best Visual Effects - Anything but Transformers, which was two hours I'll never get back. No one should ever be rewarded for that headache inducing piece of dung. It destroyed some of my fondest childhood memories.
Best Makeup, Best Documentary, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Foreign Film, Best Art Direction, Best Original Screenplay, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Score, Best Song, Best Film Editing, Best Makeup - Josh Hartnett from 30 Days of Night.
America are you ready for more eh's on your television? According to an article in the Toronto Star, American networks may be buying up some Canadian shows to fill space caused by the writers strike. http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/Television/article/277875.
To be totally honest, I haven't seen many of the shows they mentioned. Should any get picked up, I promise full previews for the American audience. Apparently, you already get Corner Gas on WGN. Here's my preview for that show:
I recently saw a commercial for a show called Corner Gas. It's bad. Don't watch it.
As we Americans like to do, I preemptively strike this show with 0 Hortons.
Do you have a question for Johnadian government? Some thing you would like covered in the official newsletter of Johnada? As part of an ongoing effort to have Johnadian voices heard, we will publish every review of Tim Hortons Donuts sent to us. Email a governemnt official.
The Horton Currency System
Tim Hortons Donuts are the official currency of Johnada. They are used to measure value in all official reports to consumers. Currently One Horton is equal to .64 N3 Pepper burgers from Quick.
The Molson Rating System
In Johnada, all nonalcoholic beverages are heavily taxed. Income from these taxes goes directly to the Ministry of Booze, where the funds are used to pay for our Moslon Rating System. The rating system is based on Molsons, with 5 Molsons being the highest honour we can bestow on a beverage.
