Wednesday, April 16, 2008

7 THINGS ABOUT STUFF (Part 4) - An Inside Look at the First Lady . . . Literally

In our ongoing series of articles to provide you with more insight into the government of Johanda, today we take an inside look at the First Lady of Johnada.

1) A photo.

2) If you thought I was going to list a bunch of other interesting things about the First Lady in this post, than I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. I'm probably in enough trouble for the photo.

3-7) The other day I mentioned that I was hoping the Cubs would not go to the World Series this year. You see, the World Series occurs in late October, and I'm possibly going to have other plans. The reason - if you could look deep inside the First Lady of Johnada, you would see that she has a little parasite inside that's eating her food, forcing her to increase her blood supply and expanding her lung capacity. This is something we're very excited about! That's right, Johnada is proud to announce that our population is going to increase by one in October. It's going to be a tri-citizen too, which will be good when the rest of the world wants Canada's fresh water supply in twenty years.

So this Fall I'm hoping that the Cubs don't make the World Series, or if they do, that they schedule the games around the birth of my first child. There's only one place I'd rather be than at Wrigley Field during Game 7 of the World Series, and that's in a room with bad wallpaper and my wife in terrible pain.*

After letting that out of the bag, we're going on a little holiday. Johnada's going back to Chicago to enjoy a little more time acting like a kid before he has one. Beernada is off trying to conquer new territory in the Upper Midwest of the U.S. And Balki will be enjoying the nice Canadian Spring by letting all the animals in the neighborhood know that he's still the only one allowed to poop in our backyard.

*If the Cubs are playing at the same time, I'm still aloud to check the score, right?


Katy said...

hallelujah! congrats johnada. you are about to embark on a glorious journey. let's get a playdate going dude. la la, katy, dave, and benny

celine said...

parasite!? i thought it was a shrimp.... :)

Zhu said...

You pick your lady well, she's very pretty!

What?? I can say it, I'm a woman!! ;)

Congratulations! You guys must be excited! Alright, hockey lessons coming soon, and I'm sure little Johnada will love Tim Hortons. Do babies here even have milk? Not sure...

beaverboosh said...

Dude, congrats! The first Johnadian! BB P.S. The first lady is a babe!

Justin Timberlake said...

If I was a Canadian baby and the first thing I saw was the Cubs wind the World Series, I would live a gifted life. Congratulations!

Gary said...

CONGRATULATIONS! Here's hoping the little bundle of joy looks more like her than...hey- CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Looking forward to reading all about the journey, not to mention all of those little decisions like "do I tell the kid about good tv or do I let it ride with the Canadian stuff?"

The blog possibilities are endless.

Once again, truly, congratulations my friend.....


Aiglee said...

Congratulations!!! :D

Seraphine said...

I'm surprised you don't want
to give birth at Wrigley Field.
Besides missing out on the free
hat promotion, with all those
fielder's gloves in the stands,
you might not even need a
delivery doctor. Food for thought.

Johnada said...

Katy - Thanks, I'm a little scared of a play date since little Ben is going to be older and may beat up our childe.

Celine - It's definitely moved on to the parasite phase.

Zhu - We take my wife's belly for skating and puck handling lessons every day.

BB - I'm the first Johnadian. This will be generation two. We're going to leave them a huge tax burden.

JT - Good point. As long as the two events aren't simultaneous I'll be okay.

Gary - The beauty of Canada is that you get to watch crap from both the U.S. and Canada, so my child will know it all.

Aiglee - Thanks!

Seraphine - Not a bad idea, but I don't think the wife would be very excited about that idea. 2008

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