CATCHING UP - Best Canadian Songs of 2008 and Lots More

So, I've missed out on some exciting stuff over the last couple of weeks, so I'm trying to catch up in one post. This is my annual review post. We're now celebrating over a year of sovereignty over our might nation.

Canadian Hero of the Year 2008 – No vote this time. It’s my daughter. In your face Strombodopolous.

Review of the crazy Canadian government thing that happened last December.

It was pretty exciting, and it made me feel good that I know more about how the Canadian government works than most Canadians - when the majority of parliament whether in coalition form or not decides on a leader, that's the leader. None of you people vote for the Prime Minister, you vote for your MP. Whichever party has the most MP's gets to pick the PM. If a couple of parties decide to get together to choose a PM, that's the PM. Silly Canadians, you don't live in America where people directly vote for the President.

I predict the Steelers will win the Super Bowl and that 30 years of peace will follow.

Slumdog Millionaire - Good, but c'mon there must be 30 movies from 2008 that are better. All you really need to know is that people in India are completely indifferent and/or kind of annoyed at the movie.

Best Canadian Songs of 2008
1)

Kids Dont Know Shit - Islands
This album was criminally underrated and I could really put fives songs from it on my top ten. But this is by far the most exciting song. At first, the lyrics are so completely dumb, but then they are not completely dumb. Genius.

2)

Our Age - COSTANTINES
A band that just plays rock n' roll. Not gimmicks or tricks. Every time I buy their albums, I think they're just okay, then three months later I can't believe how great it is. This song is one highlight.

3)

The Sound - Human Highway
Same guy from the Islands in folk mode. A fine album, but this song stands above the rest on this album.

4)

Willow Tree - Chad VanGaalen
This is a great song from an album that's full of wonderful music.

5)

Churches Under The Stairs - Brendan Canning
I admit that I was a little dissappointed in this album. There aren't a lot of standout rock n' roll moments that we usually see from the Broken Social Scene crowd. But this song is definitely a standout. Would have been great to see live if I hadn't dropped the tickets out of my back pocket on the way to the show. Sorry Beernada and Maynard.

6)

Black Rice - Women
Dumb band name, good song.

7)

Some Are Lakes - Land Of Talk

8)

Feedback In The Field - Plants and Animals
One of the louder songs from a Montreal band that makes great background music.

9) Sloan: Cheap Champagne
I had a conversation the other day with a friend. She suggested that if I heard Sloan’s old stuff now, I would not like it because it’s too poppy. That’s definitely not true. If I heard Twice Removed or One Chord to Another now, I’d think they were a better version of Spoon. However, with the crap these guys released on their latest album Parallel Play, it makes it hard for me to be a Sloan apologist, especially the way they sucked live. This song called Cheap Champagne is pretty good however. But I couldn't find it on this imeem deal, so here's an oldie, but a goodie by the same wussy guy that my wife loves:

The Lines You Amend - Sloan

10) Bicycles – I’ll Wait for You: A late entry in my2008 Canadian song book. A grower.
http://www.myspace.com/thebicycles

Forgive me Canada, for I have sinned. It has been over 257 days since my last Tim Hortons.

CANADA, GET TO KNOW YOUR CANDIDATES

Last week, we talked about somebody's push to get Barack Obama elected Prime Minister of Canada. That ain't going to happen. So for all you Canadians out there who don't know enough about your candidates, here's a handy guide from an American who's not voting, and not entirely sure why the process works the way it does. We base our evaluations on the three features that we figure our most important to Canadians - what's their position on donuts, hockey and children.

Your welcome.

Steven Harper - Conservative Party - We always watch the Daily Show at 11, and his commercials come on during it. Here's what I know about him - he loves sweater vests and he has young kids. So those are two big plusses. He also loves hockey. Apparently he's been working on a book about its history. I don't know his official policy on donuts, but apparently the guy who used to own Tim Hortons doesn't like him. That is not a good thing.

Stephane Dion - Liberal Party - He's French Canadian, he has a funny accent, and there's this one picture that the Conservatives keep showing of him where he looks all confused. I've never seen any commercials where he talks about his kids. He's doomed. Or at least he was until this weekend, when Harper compared is environmental/economic (the so-called Green Shift) plan to Tim Hortons Donuts. That's big points for Dion. Also, he loves hockey too. In fact, the Liberals started a website where they show him playing floor hockey. You have to subtract some points for it being floor hockey, but I don't think there's any video of Harper playing any kind of hockey.

Jack Layton - New Democrats Party - (For full disclosure, he represents our new riding on DeGrassi Street.*) I don't know if he has kids, but I saw him up close and personal before a rally for something I had to do for work. He was wearing a lot of makeup, so points off for that. I know all politicians have to do this for the cameras, but he's the only one I've ever seen up close. And I'm also not sure about donuts, but he looks like a lot of the guys I see coming out of Tim Hortons every morning, so that's a good sign. He uses hockey metaphors in his speeches (but I'm sure all good Canadian politicians do this). And he did chime in on the recent Hockey Night in Canada Theme Song Controversy.

Elizabeth May - Green Party - Again not sure, if she has any kids. Don't these politicians understand the family game? If you don't have kids, hire some for the campaign. As for hockey, I did find a press release with her talking about the low standards for hockey helmets in Canada. I guess that's either positive or negative depending on whether you're old school or not. Recently, she had a rally at the Hockey Hall of Fame - BIG points for that. However, there are not photos of here drinking a beer/grass smoothie out of the Stanley Cup. That would be worth at least three points in the polls. As far as I can tell, she has no official Donut Policy, but I've got to assume she favours organic donuts.

In my official duties as El Presidente, I will have to interact with all of these wonderful candidates, so unfortunately, I can not endorse any candidate. You'll just have to decide based on the information I've provided.

*Riding is Canadian for political zone. It may have had something to do with riding horses to vote or something. You can make all kinds of juvenile jokes about this term, but I will refrain.