CATCHING UP - Best Canadian Songs of 2008 and Lots More

So, I've missed out on some exciting stuff over the last couple of weeks, so I'm trying to catch up in one post. This is my annual review post. We're now celebrating over a year of sovereignty over our might nation.

Canadian Hero of the Year 2008 – No vote this time. It’s my daughter. In your face Strombodopolous.

Review of the crazy Canadian government thing that happened last December.

It was pretty exciting, and it made me feel good that I know more about how the Canadian government works than most Canadians - when the majority of parliament whether in coalition form or not decides on a leader, that's the leader. None of you people vote for the Prime Minister, you vote for your MP. Whichever party has the most MP's gets to pick the PM. If a couple of parties decide to get together to choose a PM, that's the PM. Silly Canadians, you don't live in America where people directly vote for the President.

I predict the Steelers will win the Super Bowl and that 30 years of peace will follow.

Slumdog Millionaire - Good, but c'mon there must be 30 movies from 2008 that are better. All you really need to know is that people in India are completely indifferent and/or kind of annoyed at the movie.

Best Canadian Songs of 2008
1)

Kids Dont Know Shit - Islands
This album was criminally underrated and I could really put fives songs from it on my top ten. But this is by far the most exciting song. At first, the lyrics are so completely dumb, but then they are not completely dumb. Genius.

2)

Our Age - COSTANTINES
A band that just plays rock n' roll. Not gimmicks or tricks. Every time I buy their albums, I think they're just okay, then three months later I can't believe how great it is. This song is one highlight.

3)

The Sound - Human Highway
Same guy from the Islands in folk mode. A fine album, but this song stands above the rest on this album.

4)

Willow Tree - Chad VanGaalen
This is a great song from an album that's full of wonderful music.

5)

Churches Under The Stairs - Brendan Canning
I admit that I was a little dissappointed in this album. There aren't a lot of standout rock n' roll moments that we usually see from the Broken Social Scene crowd. But this song is definitely a standout. Would have been great to see live if I hadn't dropped the tickets out of my back pocket on the way to the show. Sorry Beernada and Maynard.

6)

Black Rice - Women
Dumb band name, good song.

7)

Some Are Lakes - Land Of Talk

8)

Feedback In The Field - Plants and Animals
One of the louder songs from a Montreal band that makes great background music.

9) Sloan: Cheap Champagne
I had a conversation the other day with a friend. She suggested that if I heard Sloan’s old stuff now, I would not like it because it’s too poppy. That’s definitely not true. If I heard Twice Removed or One Chord to Another now, I’d think they were a better version of Spoon. However, with the crap these guys released on their latest album Parallel Play, it makes it hard for me to be a Sloan apologist, especially the way they sucked live. This song called Cheap Champagne is pretty good however. But I couldn't find it on this imeem deal, so here's an oldie, but a goodie by the same wussy guy that my wife loves:

The Lines You Amend - Sloan

10) Bicycles – I’ll Wait for You: A late entry in my2008 Canadian song book. A grower.
http://www.myspace.com/thebicycles

Forgive me Canada, for I have sinned. It has been over 257 days since my last Tim Hortons.

100th POST - The Johnadian Economy is Strong and Will Not Be Brought Down By the U.S. Recession

In honour of Johnada's 100th Official Update to our Citizens (averaging one post every 1.73 days), we decided it's time to evaluate our currency system to see if it's still retaining market value. In this day and age of the declining U.S. Dollar, we believe we must frequently check to see if the Horton is holding its own against the Euro, Yuan and Big Mac.

We are often asked what kind of donut Johnada bases its currency on. Is it the apple fritter? The dutchie? The Boston cream? The honey cruller? No to all of the above. The Horton currency rating is based on the old fashioned glazed, which is not unlike the British Pound in its resilience to current trends. But just to be certain, the President went to Timmy's to make sure Johnadians are getting value for their Horton.

My old-fashioned glazed donut tasted a lot like I would expect a glazed donut to taste. It wasn't exciting, but I didn't hate it either. It was kind of like playing an instant lottery game and winning another lottery ticket. You're excited for a second, but afterwards you realize you didn't really get anywhere (except in the case of the donut you get about 320 calories and 19 grams of fat). In my estimation, it's retaining its value well, due in no small part to the Johnada's current unemployment rate of 0. However, the Horton's value has been decreasing vs. worldwide currency. This has been caused by the decline of Wendy's Spicy Baconator, which in recent weeks has been trending downward due to the U.S. bacon market bust, despite the delightful combination of beef, bacon, jalapenos and chipotle ranch dressing. Thus we're following trendsetters like Jay-Z and looking to Europe to revalue the Horton, which is now based on the N3 Pepper from Quick.

P.S. Though we usually refer citizens to the Minister of Booze when it comes to beverage decisions, we make an exception to announce a national recall on Tim Horton's coffee due to the recent discovery that it is horrible.

BAGEL WITH NO BUTTER

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to grab a bite to eat at Tim Horton's for breakfast this morning. I decided to go with an everything bagel. It turned into a confusing experience.

Johnada: Can I get an everything bagel?
Tim Horton's Woman: Do you want it toasted?
J: No thank you.
THW: Really?
J: Umm . . . yeah, no toasting.
THW (sounding slightly irritated): Butter?
J: No thanks
THW: No butter on your bagel?
J: Nope.
THW (looking as if I had just told her I eat babies): Are you sure?
J: Yes, I'm sure
THW: Well then you want cream cheese?
J: Just plain thanks.
THW: You want a plain bagel?
J: Well, I want a plain everything bagel
THW: Oh I see. And you don't want it toasted, right?

When I opened the bag a few moments later, I saw that I had a plain bagel with butter. Oh how I love Timmie Hortons! At least it wasn't toasted.

I would rate a plain bagel from Tim Horton's as 1 Horton. If I didn't it would shake the foundation of this blog.

JOHNADA NOW ACCEPTING TIM HORTONS REVIEWS

Due to our BFFs visiting from the South, today is cleaning day at Johnada. However, we will return to our normally scheduled whatever it is we do on Monday. Next week will feature our second Beernada instalment, possibly another chip review (Canada keeps pumping them out), a full report of this weekends activities and the first in our joint television review series.

Last weekend the in-laws were in town, and I've held most of what happened off of the blog because I know where my bread is buttered. However, on the way home they tried Tim Hortons. They had a glazed donut and a chocolate cake donut. Final verdict: "Canada should get some Dunkin Donuts." Ouch!

On a related note, this blog will post any and all Tim Hortons reviews submitted to Johnadablog@gmail.com. Reviews are subject to editing for bad language and poor grammar. To clarify, this means I may edit in bad language and poor grammar, in case anyone wants to show me up with their superb use of the English language.